When you begin motherhood, I felt like this was really it. Really time for me to grow up because it wasn't all about me anymore. I created a life, and no matter what I had to put them first.
Along the road... I got lost. I'll admit it.
With each pregnancy I struggled with post-partum depression. I think each time it got a little worse. I finally agreed to meds, but as soon as I got the swing of things... I got pregnant again. (Don't misunderstand, This was EXACTLY what I wanted.)
Now.... Having just had S (Baby #3), I am WAY beyond done. I am ready to close this chapter of my life. I'm ready to raise my kiddos and find myself again.
With all of this being said.... I can't help but feel a sense of sadness. I'm turning 30 in a few weeks and I will never have a baby growing inside of me. I will never have strangers rub my belly (No I never minded that. They were always so caring.) I will never have the hospital experience again. Man, did I LOVE that part. All THREE times. Having people gush over this life you just brought into the world. Yes, they still gush about L and K but it is always about how big they are which just makes me sad.
Here is our first picture of officially becoming a Party of FIVE!!
So my next chapter... What will it be about? Will I be committed into a padded room?
My main goal for my 30's is falling more in love.
Falling more in love with my husband. (Is that even possible?)
Falling more in love with my children. (Even through the fierce 5's, the terrible 2's, the oh so tiring first few years)
Falling in love with WHO I AM.
Today I started my weight loss and fitness journey again.
Yes, AGAIN.
It's a never ending battle.
I wanted to open up publicly on my blog so people can get to know me better. So they can see my struggles, fears, accomplishments and maybe feel like they aren't alone. I am NOT perfect. Nor will I ever be. CAKE seriously is a food group in my book. I will fail a few times I'm sure, but I am determined to make 30 the best year yet.
Thankfully I have an amazing support system. Oh, how they are amazing.
My husband. He is a fitness freak. A sexy one at that. He is always inspiring me, encouraging me, pushing me, failing with me and showing me how to just jump right back up. He seriously is AMAZNG and has never made me feel bad about my weight.
And a new supporter is my friend Elizabeth! She came into my life for SO many reasons. God has some of the BEST timing! She brought me into the wonderful world of MOPs and truly has blessed me more than she'll ever know! Did I mention she is going to be my accountability buddy??? Woo Hoo!! I guess going to get margarita's will have to wait until we meet one of our goals!
And everyone else. I know it's really a broad category to throw everyone else in but there are WAY too many people who love and support me. So, thank you! My success is your success!
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