Hoping for something

I have finally decided I refuse to look at a calendar anymore. All I know is my husband has been gone for 19 days... and I miss him so much. I know it is nothing compared to a deployment, but when we said goodbye at the airport it was a total of 20 seconds. That's it! We thought we were going to see eachother in days. And now it will be a month at the least, until I see him again. Maybe longer. He is doing his best over there. I know he is. If it was up to him I would have been sitting right next to him on the plane. He got us a house... and is trying to get it ready for our arrival. I have an amazing husband. He makes my heart feel so good when he tells me everything will be ok. I believe him. We all have our battles we must fight to get to the victory. I think that is where we are at. Almost to the victory. And what a sweet, sweet feeling that is.

On another note... after my last blog I got a nasty email. Got called a few names. The usual. Sorry if I offended anyone. AGAIN, let me just say this is my blog. I will express my opinions, my hopes, my dreams, my thoughts, and my dirty laundry if I feel moved to. If you don't want me to be honest about the way I feel, then please don't make me feel that way. Sounds pretty easy. The only person I need to report to is my husband. However I do take all complaints and compliments to heart so I did waste a few more tears on your unappreciated email.

Next case of business... I am watching Dear John... I'm not sure I should be watching these types of movies by myself without my hubby!!! But NO ONE would go see this movie with me in the theatre, so I have no choice. Anywho, just wanted to write about the way I was feeling today. Please don't ask me anymore when I am leaving. I don't know... The second I have a plane ticket I will be letting everyone know. :) The waiting part is the hardest part, but at least I have something to wait for. I will always wait for my husband. And he makes everything worth the wait. Goodnight my friends.

Hoping for something

I have finally decided I refuse to look at a calendar anymore. All I know is my husband has been gone for 19 days... and I miss him so much. I know it is nothing compared to a deployment, but when we said goodbye at the airport it was a total of 20 seconds. That's it! We thought we were going to see eachother in days. And now it will be a month at the least, until I see him again. Maybe longer. He is doing his best over there. I know he is. If it was up to him I would have been sitting right next to him on the plane. He got us a house... and is trying to get it ready for our arrival. I have an amazing husband. He makes my heart feel so good when he tells me everything will be ok. I believe him. We all have our battles we must fight to get to the victory. I think that is where we are at. Almost to the victory. And what a sweet, sweet feeling that is.

On another note... after my last blog I got a nasty email. Got called a few names. The usual. Sorry if I offended anyone. AGAIN, let me just say this is my blog. I will express my opinions, my hopes, my dreams, my thoughts, and my dirty laundry if I feel moved to. If you don't want me to be honest about the way I feel, then please don't make me feel that way. Sounds pretty easy. The only person I need to report to is my husband. However I do take all complaints and compliments to heart so I did waste a few more tears on your unappreciated email.

Next case of business... I am watching Dear John... I'm not sure I should be watching these types of movies by myself without my hubby!!! But NO ONE would go see this movie with me in the theatre, so I have no choice. Anywho, just wanted to write about the way I was feeling today. Please don't ask me anymore when I am leaving. I don't know... The second I have a plane ticket I will be letting everyone know. :) The waiting part is the hardest part, but at least I have something to wait for. I will always wait for my husband. And he makes everything worth the wait. Goodnight my friends.

Another Day in the life of ME!!!!

Up... down... up... down... my emotions were starting to get the best of me... BUT I am the only one in control of them, so I decided to make a change. I have been stressed about a few things... nothing major... when am I leaving the only life I've known to a foreign one... losing the last 10 pounds I want to lose to meet my goal... seeing my husband again... :) Insecurities arise when anything unplanned happens, or any change to your normal routine takes place, they recently got me. It starts with something tiny and turns into something that can keep you up at night. I think it had me upset for a good day and a half. I didn't like it at all. The only person that can make me feel differently is again, myself. So how does this happen? How do you change a habit that you have taken part in your whole entire life? All I know is that people can change. And if you want something bad enough, it is possible. So waking up smiling, losing those last 10 pounds, and making my husband feel like he deserves are the goals I am setting for myself. All are possible, and all will take a lifetime. Not a simple fix... If it's simple, then it isn't the kind of fix I am looking for. No-sir-ee!

Positive way to start your day tomorrow... Just a thought:
Reaching out to support our friends and loved ones strengthens the platform of happiness.

"This is my wish for you: comfort on difficult days, smiles when sadness intrudes, rainbows to follow the clouds, laughter to kiss your lips, sunsets to warm your heart, hugs when spirits sag, beauty for your eyes to see, friendships to brighten your being, faith so that you can believe, confidence for when you doubt, courage to know yourself, patience to accept the truth, Love to complete your life." - Author unknown.

This should be a week of answers for me... Let it begin!

Another Day in the life of ME!!!!

Up... down... up... down... my emotions were starting to get the best of me... BUT I am the only one in control of them, so I decided to make a change. I have been stressed about a few things... nothing major... when am I leaving the only life I've known to a foreign one... losing the last 10 pounds I want to lose to meet my goal... seeing my husband again... :) Insecurities arise when anything unplanned happens, or any change to your normal routine takes place, they recently got me. It starts with something tiny and turns into something that can keep you up at night. I think it had me upset for a good day and a half. I didn't like it at all. The only person that can make me feel differently is again, myself. So how does this happen? How do you change a habit that you have taken part in your whole entire life? All I know is that people can change. And if you want something bad enough, it is possible. So waking up smiling, losing those last 10 pounds, and making my husband feel like he deserves are the goals I am setting for myself. All are possible, and all will take a lifetime. Not a simple fix... If it's simple, then it isn't the kind of fix I am looking for. No-sir-ee!

Positive way to start your day tomorrow... Just a thought:
Reaching out to support our friends and loved ones strengthens the platform of happiness.

"This is my wish for you: comfort on difficult days, smiles when sadness intrudes, rainbows to follow the clouds, laughter to kiss your lips, sunsets to warm your heart, hugs when spirits sag, beauty for your eyes to see, friendships to brighten your being, faith so that you can believe, confidence for when you doubt, courage to know yourself, patience to accept the truth, Love to complete your life." - Author unknown.

This should be a week of answers for me... Let it begin!

Let's just call this day one.

So my hubby is gone. I hate that you can't walk people to their gates anymore. I got about 20 seconds to say bye to him. I stayed strong... but cried the whole way home. I guess it didn't help that I turned the radio on only to hear "Wish you were here" by Mark Willis. Not a good one when you just said goodbye to the person you love. We had to leave the house at 4 am... So we both were soooo tired. Had so much to do the previous days.

Transportation agreed to come on Saturday. They got all our stuff that we weren't taking to Korea. It's a little sad storing all your pictures and items you saw in your house on a daily basis. But, at the same time it is making room for new adventures and items collected along the way. I guess my emotions are so mixed up. I want to wear the biggest smile I can, but at the same time I could cry a million tears. I just want this stress to be over with. Tomorrow I have a lot to do. We need to go get our Visa pictures done. And I need to do sooo much homework. Still have about 10 boxes left to pack... and tons of crap to get rid of.

Things are slowly coming together though. It is hard for me to talk about leaving with my mom now... makes us both choke up. I can't believe after almost 26 years... Our paths are separating. (Take a deep breath...) I really wanted to be able to go with James so I could hide away in his comfort. I don't know how strong I will be when I finally get to go. I don't know if I can hold it together for my mom... You know "Momma Tears" are way different then any other kind. It doesn't matter how strong you are, when you hear your mom's voice... tears immediately fall. Logan has been very sick the past few days and everyday I have turned to her for help. Man... I think I am making myself a little sad. Next Topic...

Twenty more minutes and James should be landing in Korea. Crazy that he has been traveling ALL day. Man I miss him!!! I guess this is a case of taking advantage of our time together. Any who... I am going to bed. I need to get some sleep. I have a lot on the agenda tomorrow. Goodnight my friends. Until tomorrow... :)

Let's just call this day one.

So my hubby is gone. I hate that you can't walk people to their gates anymore. I got about 20 seconds to say bye to him. I stayed strong... but cried the whole way home. I guess it didn't help that I turned the radio on only to hear "Wish you were here" by Mark Willis. Not a good one when you just said goodbye to the person you love. We had to leave the house at 4 am... So we both were soooo tired. Had so much to do the previous days.

Transportation agreed to come on Saturday. They got all our stuff that we weren't taking to Korea. It's a little sad storing all your pictures and items you saw in your house on a daily basis. But, at the same time it is making room for new adventures and items collected along the way. I guess my emotions are so mixed up. I want to wear the biggest smile I can, but at the same time I could cry a million tears. I just want this stress to be over with. Tomorrow I have a lot to do. We need to go get our Visa pictures done. And I need to do sooo much homework. Still have about 10 boxes left to pack... and tons of crap to get rid of.

Things are slowly coming together though. It is hard for me to talk about leaving with my mom now... makes us both choke up. I can't believe after almost 26 years... Our paths are separating. (Take a deep breath...) I really wanted to be able to go with James so I could hide away in his comfort. I don't know how strong I will be when I finally get to go. I don't know if I can hold it together for my mom... You know "Momma Tears" are way different then any other kind. It doesn't matter how strong you are, when you hear your mom's voice... tears immediately fall. Logan has been very sick the past few days and everyday I have turned to her for help. Man... I think I am making myself a little sad. Next Topic...

Twenty more minutes and James should be landing in Korea. Crazy that he has been traveling ALL day. Man I miss him!!! I guess this is a case of taking advantage of our time together. Any who... I am going to bed. I need to get some sleep. I have a lot on the agenda tomorrow. Goodnight my friends. Until tomorrow... :)

Lovin' me some sunshine!

What a wonderful Sunday! I got to spend time with my girlfriends at Amanda's "Summer Kickoff" party... Logan got to get in his new lil pool his grandma got him... James and I both got homework done... We also got an email from the Comannder in Korea stating why it was better for Logan and I to come over after James. That's all we wanted... is an answer to our questions and we got them. She said it shouldn't be long after he gets there. Maybe a week or two. I feel 100 pounds lighter. (Ok, maybe not 100) Still so much to do!!

So... Topic of the night. Finding that flame that lights your butt on fire. I have so many dreams and ambitions. For the most part, if I put my mind to it I will accomplish it. I wanted to lose 20 lbs... I just reached my goal. I want to get my degree before my little brother finishes high school which is next may... and so far, working my butt off NON-STOP I will succeed. Just by a month or two, but I will beat him!! (It's the little things in life) haha I want to be a better person in my marriage. Now this one... I haven't been able to personally excel at yet. I feel like I have the education and the knowledge, but I am not sure how to fully apply the things that I have learned. (And yes, Love is enough... and boy do we have love... there are just other things that I want to work on as a spouse) There are so many inspirational books out there. "For Her" and "For Him" are an awesome read! They are two different books, of course one for him and one for her... lol... but they are worth it. I also bought 3 other books that I want to read and share with you. Knowledge is power. Learn what you can but most importantly, apply it. I have learned that men would rather be respected than loved. It's the complete opposite for women. (Go figure) They go hand in hand. In one of my classes I just finished we had to completly put ourselves in the chair. We had to open up and pull out the dirt we had in order to feel what your client will someday feel. I poured my heart out. I was so honest that at times I felt embarrassed. As people say... I aired my dirty laundry. Why? Because it encouraged me to change. When I re-read what I wrote, I could feel my emotions and struggles... as if it wasn't my paper I was reading. It was such a crazy feeling. At the end of the class you had to choose one student to write about... and I was very surprised to see two students wrote about me. Both commented on my honesty. That made me smile. If you want to be known for one thing... Honesty is pretty cool. One lady talked about how she looked forward to all my posts every week. That made me feel like I climbed a mountain. My words affected someone... inspired someone... intrigued someone. That my friends is a flame under my butt. I can't just write about it... I need to act upon what I say. I hope you enjoy this leg of the journey. Finding who I am, along with becoming the person I know I can be. Tomorrow I am going to start including parts of this book I am reading. 365 ways to start your day off positive. Together we can pass on a smile even further. Thanks for stopping in and reading. Here's to a positive Monday, and a great start to May!!

Lovin' me some sunshine!

What a wonderful Sunday! I got to spend time with my girlfriends at Amanda's "Summer Kickoff" party... Logan got to get in his new lil pool his grandma got him... James and I both got homework done... We also got an email from the Comannder in Korea stating why it was better for Logan and I to come over after James. That's all we wanted... is an answer to our questions and we got them. She said it shouldn't be long after he gets there. Maybe a week or two. I feel 100 pounds lighter. (Ok, maybe not 100) Still so much to do!!

So... Topic of the night. Finding that flame that lights your butt on fire. I have so many dreams and ambitions. For the most part, if I put my mind to it I will accomplish it. I wanted to lose 20 lbs... I just reached my goal. I want to get my degree before my little brother finishes high school which is next may... and so far, working my butt off NON-STOP I will succeed. Just by a month or two, but I will beat him!! (It's the little things in life) haha I want to be a better person in my marriage. Now this one... I haven't been able to personally excel at yet. I feel like I have the education and the knowledge, but I am not sure how to fully apply the things that I have learned. (And yes, Love is enough... and boy do we have love... there are just other things that I want to work on as a spouse) There are so many inspirational books out there. "For Her" and "For Him" are an awesome read! They are two different books, of course one for him and one for her... lol... but they are worth it. I also bought 3 other books that I want to read and share with you. Knowledge is power. Learn what you can but most importantly, apply it. I have learned that men would rather be respected than loved. It's the complete opposite for women. (Go figure) They go hand in hand. In one of my classes I just finished we had to completly put ourselves in the chair. We had to open up and pull out the dirt we had in order to feel what your client will someday feel. I poured my heart out. I was so honest that at times I felt embarrassed. As people say... I aired my dirty laundry. Why? Because it encouraged me to change. When I re-read what I wrote, I could feel my emotions and struggles... as if it wasn't my paper I was reading. It was such a crazy feeling. At the end of the class you had to choose one student to write about... and I was very surprised to see two students wrote about me. Both commented on my honesty. That made me smile. If you want to be known for one thing... Honesty is pretty cool. One lady talked about how she looked forward to all my posts every week. That made me feel like I climbed a mountain. My words affected someone... inspired someone... intrigued someone. That my friends is a flame under my butt. I can't just write about it... I need to act upon what I say. I hope you enjoy this leg of the journey. Finding who I am, along with becoming the person I know I can be. Tomorrow I am going to start including parts of this book I am reading. 365 ways to start your day off positive. Together we can pass on a smile even further. Thanks for stopping in and reading. Here's to a positive Monday, and a great start to May!!